1. The Long Minnesota Goodbye
This is the polar opposite of an Irish Goodbye or the French Leave — when you just ghost out of a party or leave unannounced, only to have someone say, “Wait… So-and-so left? What?” Taking part in the Minnesota Long Goodbye is a skill that we all honed probably in efforts to a) keep our Minnesota-Nice conversations going as long as possible, and b) not actually have to go outside. If you’ve ever been to a dinner party and found yourself saying, “Yeah, we’ve gotta go,” you might not actually step foot outdoors for the next 20 minutes if you’re trapped in a Minnesota Long Goodbye.
2. “Skol Vikings!”
Sometimes it’s painful to be a Vikings fan. Okay, let’s be honest, it’s mostly painful. But year after year, fans are awash in purple and gold, donning those helmets, and screaming “SKOL VIKINGS!” in the frigid winter months while cheering on our beleaguered NFL team. Someday, you guys, the Super Bowl will be ours.
3. “Bag” (Baaaaayyyyg)
Don’t ask why, but Minnesotans hold onto their vowels and run with ’em. (If at the end of Titanic, Jack was a vowel and Rose was a Minnesotan — she really would never let go.) When folks from just about anywhere else in the U.S. hear us say “bag” they’re hearing that “a” drawn out like we just started channeling the Fonz. Phonetically, it sounds like this to the rest of the States: “bæg” (as in “sat”). To lots of Minnesotans, it’s “be?g,” like we’re saying “plague” or something. The same goes for pretty much any “ag” word (i.e. hag, rag, dragon, magazine, brag, drag, etc.).
4. “Duck, Duck, Gray Duck!”
This is it, kids… the thing that separates us from the rest of those goose-worshiping states. Even Wisconsin says “Goose,” but we know better. Playing Duck, Duck, Gray Duck as a kid means that you will forever hear other children saying “Duck, duck, goose,” and know deep down that they are wrong. A goose is huge and menacing… clearly one could tell the difference between that fowl and a little duck. But a gray duck? That’s pretty much the same as any other duck. All bets are off — and therein lies the glory of patting everyone’s head while they remain in the dark about who exactly is the gray duck.
5. “Holy buckets.”